An ode to John Madden, Big Sirmixalot Butts, and Turduckens
April 16th, 2009
- Madden to hang up the mike… depite some mumblings and occasional “WTF did he just say” moments, Madden brought much the same to the booth as he did trolling (literally) the Raider sidelines… Genuine passion and an appreciation for the simple but oft neglected things that make football the greatest game on the planet. Hey wait a minute…
Madden and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance:- Football games in slop that would make a pig proud = a very good thing, possibly the greatest
- Football in domes and on artificial turf = horrific, sterile, hell
- Offensive lineman and “special teams” guys = welcome to the NFL, you count, you matter
- Endless ACE hardware promos… <a tad gross but funny MAD TV spoof… Madden makes a birdhouse>
- Our first Lombardi
- The godawful Turducken and the “vids R cool again” successor to Tecmo Bowl
- When telestrators go bad (you hear me CNN, do we really need the hologram election telestrator thingamajig???)
- Madden also made roadies cool again via the ubiquitous Maddencruiser… two of our favorite words ever “road trip.”
- In other news we’re thankful of: Joe Namath did not, repeat did not, try to kiss Madden on the sidelines.
- A 1 and a 3 for Anquan Boldin… consider him alcohol that is ”behind the locked glass” at your supermarket, priced with the Dom Perignons and such that only a Giants, Steelers type will make a play for. Sorry J Walker haters, we’re not there yet.
- More Madden specualtion and a PFT zinger… “Last September, owner Al Davis hinted during the infamous “Lane Kiffin Must Consume Fecal Matter And Die” press conference that a local figure could soon be added to the organization.”
- Aw-shucks bummer that Glenn Dorsey (forever linked in my mind vis-a-vis Darren Mcfadden) and Tamba Hali might not fit the Chefs new 3-4 defense… don’t fret Chef fans, you can always blame the assclown known as Carl Peterson.
- John Marshall brings us the only 4-3 D in the AFC West now, shouldn’t that be an advantage for us?
- “Madden asks the referees if it’s real! … They say get your big butt out of here. He does!” – Bill King