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Alls not well with Goodell at the hell(m)

Lets get this straight right at the get-go, I am a huge fan of the body of work NFL Commisioner Roger “The Great” Goodell has produced thus far. That said, there are a few things he must soon address, and one glaringly bad decision he must “undo.” Sorry Rog, theres no such fucking thing as a “do-over” in the NFL… period.

NFL point 1:  A Fucking Do Over???
…  the crackwagon scoreboard stands tall at just a shade under 4,384 feet tall with an equivalent width of 914 aircraft carriers going nose to stern. I’ll set aside my seething for the fake American flag “flown” on the scoreboard (there is no real flag inside the stadium…. pinko crackwagon commies) for now to address this mammoth and its EFFECT on a football game.  Simply put Mr. Goodell, oh ye of wise and sound previous decision making, this was a fucking bad choice. To allow that monstrosity to affect THE GAME is criminal. Again Rog, did you hear yourself actually say “then it’ll be a do over?” What’s next, Romo asking  for “baby bouncies,” handing out “mulligan” cards to kickers… did you pimp that memory eraser from the men in black?

A fucking do over in the NFL… where sleet, snow, tsunmais and frozen tundra mean ”game on.” The NFL, where only the threat of potential “fry and die” lightning halts the progress of pigskin… yet it all stops for a “do over” in the name of corporate greed.

200-foot Romo makes Jessica Simpson walk bow-legged

Seriously Roger, say “it’s a do over” and see if you can keep a straight face. Didn’t think so.

“Old Pond Frog Jump in Water Sound”

NFL point #2: Blackout with my Cock Out
… the waters of the archaic and self-mutilating NFL blackout policy are not sound, not by a looooooong shot Rog. If you didn’t learn from “RIAA and Metallica vs. Napster” you should have learned from baseball’s atrocious policy of  fellating NBC’s peacock with “prime time” west coast World Series games… you know, the ones where a kid wearing his beloved Yankees pajamas would have to stay up til 2am to watch the game (editors note: don’t get me started on the lack of day games now at Wrigley… screw tradition eh Bud?). But at least they GET TO WATCH THE GAME.

As it stands mr. Goodell, there are legions of young fans (note from a marketing major: soon to be your prized demographic)  that will never be exposed to the NFL. Your “hiding” the games strategy DOES NOT, and  WILL NOT ever work again in the future. It’s assinine to believe in todays digital era, that the powers that be in the NFL can’t see this dinosaur as anything other than a shortsighted and misguided attempt at “hoarding” their entertainment.

Roger, it’ll make sense when you finally realize that the 62,000 or so folks at the stadium are but a “drop in the overall revenue bucket.”  Sadly, I urge you to talk those folks at Nascar. I don’t like watching guys turn left for 4 hours, but they certainly understand that the golden cash cow (or purple?) is not in the “crowd.”

NFL point 3:  Two (not eight) is Enough… aka 4 preseason games of  hell
.. ’nuff said, I know you get this one already, just make it happen already.

NFL points 4 – 6 :  Don’t fuck with Tradition too much… or leave me the fuck alone
… a Superbowl overseas = travesty.

… defensive pass interference/illegal contact calls =  is so bad its a joke. Defense are people too.

… Superbowl ticket sales = 98% go to douchebags in Cadillac branded golf shirts. Fans are people too.

*** Thank you for letting me get this off my chest Rog;  you’ve been great, this’ll make you even better. RG

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