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Posts Tagged ‘Oakland Raiders’

Jamarcus Russell Crapped Out

April 2nd, 2010
jamarcus-russell-casino-raiders-picture

jamarcus-russell-casino-raiders-picture

So Jamarcus Russell has finally arrived as a player… a crappy craps player that is. This according to the noted sportswriting crew at TMZ (is the Rachel Nichols  TMZ hire official yet, or Will DisneyAbcEspnAol simply add another acronym???). TMZ,  previously noteworthy for its fair and balanced coverage of such landmark moments as Paris Hiltons “leaked” sex tape and Lindsay Lohan taking hacks from the other side of the plate, is obviously seeking to protect its Hollywood turf from ESPN.

ESPN whose acid trip of a Hollywood set would freak out Timothy Leary, had been converging on the Hollywood and sports (as an afterthought) theme long before Walt’s “Imagineers” re-imagined the Sportscenter set by flinging Pantone Orange #21c paint, and adding more swirling lights than the Bellagio and Space Mountain combined. Though it does highlight Chris Bermans rug quite nicely. Rumor has it that the intensity of the UV lights on the Sportscenter set also gave  draft “expert” Todd Mcshay (can he spell M-a-y-o-c-k?) that awful “buy 12 tans, get 3 free” bodybuilder look in the 2009 draft.

Has it really come to this Jamarcus???Why does TMZ care about you… why did they feel inclined to title the article (for lack of a better word) “NFL QB JaMarcus Russell — Heavy Bettor“    


AFC West expert blogger Bill Williamson of ESPN risked fines and suspensions for straying from his work on the new uber secret  ”ESPN Hollywood Squares” program (spoiler alert: every answer is “Yankees, Red Sox, Brett Favre, or Tiger Williams) to comment on Jamarcus…

“Russell’s issues run deeper than his weight. Even if Russell were to show up at 235 pounds, he still must address his fundamentals. He has terrible footwork. He has an atrocious completion percentage – 48.8 percent in 2009. He stares down his intended receiver. He can’t read defenses. He has a poor work ethic and is not a leader. Those are major problems, folks. He has to address each shortcoming before camp and I don’t think he has enough time. The fact that he is actually trying is commendable, but this is the former No. 1 overall pick. There are no excuses. He already should be much further along than he is.”   <— sigh, the fucking truth hurts when it comes to the #1 overall pick

So Jamarcus, this could go one of three ways… and since a picture is worth a thousand words, lets see what karma brings the three guys in this eerily cryptic picture below…

jamarcus-mcnabb-vick-raiders-eagles

jamarcus-mcnabb-vick-raiders-eagles

aherioslio ESPN Sportscenter , , ,

Roger Goodell Makes Good

December 17th, 2009

A few interesting facts about Roger “The Goods” Goodell, NFL Commissioner: the Grand Poobah

Roger "the goods" Goodell

Roger "the goods" Goodell

As noted in the previous post, were high on (stop it) Roger Goodell. His reign has seen smart decision making and even smarter marketing. So here’s a few interesting things about Roger “the great” Goodell… (we’d be remiss here not to mention the tuck rule disaster of epic proportions that preceded his arrival: so F you Tagliabue)

Roger Goodell Minutae Bio

Born February 19, 1959. 

From intern to COO… Goodell’s career in the NFL began in 1982 as an administrative intern in the league office in New York under then-Commissioner Pete Rozelle – a position secured through an extensive letter-writing campaign(classic “spammer” makes good story) to the league office and each of its then 28 teams. In 1983, he joined the New York Jets as an intern, but returned to the league office in 1984 as an assistant spin doctor in the NFL public relations department.

In 1987, Goodell was appointed assistant to the president of the American Football Conference (Lamar Hunt), and under the tutelage of Commissioner Paul Tagliabue filled a variety of football and business operations roles, culminating with his appointment as the NFL’s Executive Vice President and Chief Operating Officer in December 2001.

“Zimmerman Flew, Tyler Knew”


As the NFL’s COO, Goodell took responsibility for the league’s football operations and officiating (gargle my nutsack Walt Coleman… come clean Perreira, talk to me Oliver Stone), as well as supervising league business functions. He headed NFL Ventures, which

Coleman Blew, Perreira Knew

Coleman Blew, Perreira Knew

 oversees the league’s business units, including media properties, marketing and sales, stadium development and strategic planning. All aspects that “the Goods” absolutely excels in.

Goodell was heavily involved in the negotiation of the league’s current collective bargaining agreement. He had worked extensively with Tagliaboob since the latter became commissioner in 1989. He played an extensive role in league expansion, realignment, and stadium development, including the launch of the NFL Network (blow me “top tier” Comcast) and securing new television agreements as well as the latest collective bargaining agreement with the NFLPA.

 

How  ”The Goods” became Commissioner of the National Football League (NFL)… was elected to succeed the retiring Paul Tagliabue on August 8, 2006. He was chosen over four finalists for the position, winning a close vote on the fifth ballot before being unanimously approved by acclamation of the owners. As Commissioner, he is also President of NFL Charities.

 

Background

Goodell was born in Jamestown, New York, the son of the late United States Senator Charles E. Goodell, a Republican from New York and the late Jean Rice Goodell of Buffalo, New York.

The Goodell family moved to Bronxville, New York, in 1971. He graduated from Bronxville High School where, as a three-sport star in football, basketball, and baseball, Goodell captained all three teams as a senior and was named the school’s athlete of the year.

Goodell is a 1981 graduate of Washington & Jefferson College in Washington, Pennsylvania with a degree in economics.

 

NFL commissioner selection

Goodell’s selection as Commissioner following the retirement of Paul Tagliabue came as no surprise, but it was not a fait accompli. Tagliabue initiated a substantive, wide ranging search for his successor, appointing a committee headed by owner Dan Rooney of the Pittsburgh Steelers.

Goodell was one of five finalists, joining Gregg Levy, Frederick Nance, Robert Reynolds, and Mayo Shattuck III. With 22 votes from the owners being needed to make a choice, Goodell, who oddsmakers had installed as a prohibitive 2:5 favorite to be selected, only garnered 15 votes to Levy’s 13, with three votes scattered among the other candidates and the Oakland Raiders abstaining.

On the second and third ballots, Goodell and Levy were the only candidates to receive votes (Goodell 17, Levy 14). Goodell increased his lead to 21–10 after the fourth ballot, falling one vote shy of election, but on the fifth round of voting two owners swung their votes to him to achieve the necessary two-thirds majority.  The Oakland Raiders abstained from the voting in each round.

 

Personal life

Smooth and a PIMP… Goodell is married to smoking hot Fox News Channel anchor Jane Skinner and they have twin daughters. He has four brothers, including

the Fox in Goodells henhouse, Julie Skinner

the Fox in Goodells henhouse, Julie Skinner

 Michael, a long-time partner of Jack Kenny, creator of the short-lived NBC series The Book of Daniel. The Goodell family was the inspiration for the Webster family on the show. <— Got to be a few bar bets to be won with that tidbit of irrelevance.


***so there you have the goods on the Commish. Now Roger, if you desire to add a category named  “Legend of Goodell” to your post poobah autobiography, you simply need to forever stop talking about overseas Superbowls, raise or burn the Cowboys scoreboard (better yet let me go Turk 182 on it), put a 2 game max cap on the preseason, and denounce the Tuck Rule “Snowjob” as the biggest conspiracy in NFL history. Easy peezy.

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Tribute to Jason Jones, Mike Florio, Journalistic Objectivity…

April 27th, 2009

oscar-madison-sportswriter

A quick tribute to what had been an entertaining source of slightly off-center Raiders News… Jason Jones  now “formerly” of the Sacramento Bee Oakland Raiders blog. Jones provided truthful analysis, sprinkled with random Raiders related tidbits for the Bee, a great paper with some serious budgetary issues.

For unfiltered Oakland Raiders media untainted by the whitewashed groupthink mentality of mega-merger media titans, the pool is again shrinking… and it doesn’t take the Farmers Almanac to see a major drought coming.  

Sorry to see you go Jason.

What remains on this parched NFL landscape outside of the blistering omnipresent glare of DisneyAbcESPN you ask?
Here’s a couple of choices to consider adding to your daily repertoire…

Pro Football Talk- witty and 32 team thorough. Despite pimping Sprint phones as a panacea for everything but Irritable Bowel Syndrome, PFT offers a plethora of unvarnished NFL notes and spot on analysis.   Unless Florio and co. are rolling around with giant bags of team supplied Coke and hookers , then much like our continuing belief in Santa Claus, we’ll keep drinkin’ the sweet PFT Kool Aid. 

Trip to Jonestown anyone… Guyana is simply mahvelous in the summer?

Raidernews.com Complete and thorough “all Raiders, all the time” website. Featuring just enough from the rest of the league and the AFC West to give you a daily snapshot of NFL doings.  Sign #936 that I need to get out more… I check this site every day of the year,  including this miserable offseason time when only baseball and hoops (did they play hockey this year?) remain.

norm_peterson_cheers_raidersWhy do we celebrate the rarity that is unfiltered, spin-free sportswriting? Because much like a duck force-fed corn mash to expand his liver, mainstream media is currently serving us  “Coors Light Cold Hard Facts” in Hungry Heifer proportions. But hey, it is live from the new Hollywood set, and Matthew McConaughey just “stopped by at halftime” to drop football knowledge on us hardcore fans.

Value Added
Value Added?

For the love of truthiness…

 

So is DisneyAbcESPN Sportscenter the evil that plagues us in this nation, hardly. When we pine here at Raidergirls for less “journalistic objectivity” in Sportswriting, we aim to let talented witty writers (not in attendance here… “Bueller”…) lift their suppressed veil of neutrality and tell us how they really feel about the teams they cover, love ‘em or hate ‘em.

When honesty and transparency are mistakenly found to violate the antiquated notion of Sportswriting “journalistic objectivity” we all get less truthiness. Do not confuse journalistic “ethics” such as not allowing team lobbyists or sponsorship $$ to shape your coverage, with asking Oscar Madison to pretend that he’s not a Mets fan or has no particular passion for Big Apple sports. 

Ghandi to Oscar: “Oscar, cleanse your mind of all of your passion and interest for the Mets, surgically remove it, good…. good…..begin writing.”

 

Yippee, Cheetos in Albuquerque.

 

It’s a fucking game, a sport… keep it real unless you’re  Wolf Blitzer in Baghdad where journalistic objectivity and neutrality mandates are paramount. It’s a game where John Clayton and Chris Mortenson are the “embedded journalists” for christs sake.

 

 Gratuitous rehashed Sportswriting Journalistic Objectivity rant…

 We firmly believe that “journalistic objectivity” in sportswriting is utter bullshit.  Our commentary will absolutely reflect a genuine disdain and sometimes passionate  hatred of the Donkeys and Chiefs. A  diehard Broncos or Chiefs fan ought to hate the Raiders too.  Talented yet hamstrung… Woody Paige and Jason Whitlocks drivel would be a thousand times more interesting if they simply came out and admitted “Hell yes I’m a Donkey/Chef fan, and my column shall reflect that.”  Their softplay towards the politically correct center of “non-bias” reaks of antiquated and forced mediocrity, much like artificial turf and the putrid sterility of football in a dome.

sapp_raiders_raidergirls.com

xoxoxxo - miss ya' Warren

 
If your sporting journey leads you to seek mainstream fare whitewashed for the masses, go to Applebees and sit down at the bar for a shitty burger and to watch things swirl and scroll in 400 flavors of orange and red from Sportscenters nauseating  “The Matrix meets Fear and Loathing” laser  light show set. May Stuart Scott “boo-yah” you to sleep while you pretend that the boys from Bristol don’t fellate themselves over every chunk of corn in Manny Ramirez’s bowel movements.




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