A few interesting facts about Roger “The Goods” Goodell, NFL Commissioner: the Grand Poobah

As noted in the previous post, were high on (stop it) Roger Goodell. His reign has seen smart decision making and even smarter marketing. So here’s a few interesting things about Roger “the great” Goodell… (we’d be remiss here not to mention the tuck rule disaster of epic proportions that preceded his arrival: so F you Tagliabue)

Roger Goodell Minutae Bio

Born February 19, 1959. 

From intern to COO… Goodell’s career in the NFL began in 1982 as an administrative intern in the league office in New York under then-Commissioner Pete Rozelle – a position secured through an extensive letter-writing campaign(classic “spammer” makes good story) to the league office and each of its then 28 teams. In 1983, he joined the New York Jets as an intern, but returned to the league office in 1984 as an assistant spin doctor in the NFL public relations department.

In 1987, Goodell was appointed assistant to the president of the American Football Conference (Lamar Hunt), and under the tutelage of Commissioner Paul Tagliabue filled a variety of football and business operations roles, culminating with his appointment as the NFL’s Executive Vice President and Chief Operating Officer in December 2001.

“Zimmerman Flew, Tyler Knew”

As the NFL’s COO, Goodell took responsibility for the league’s football operations and officiating (gargle my nutsack Walt Coleman… come clean Perreira, talk to me Oliver Stone), as well as supervising league business functions. He headed NFL Ventures, which

 oversees the league’s business units, including media properties, marketing and sales, stadium development and strategic planning. All aspects that “the Goods” absolutely excels in.

Goodell was heavily involved in the negotiation of the league’s current collective bargaining agreement. He had worked extensively with Tagliaboob since the latter became commissioner in 1989. He played an extensive role in league expansion, realignment, and stadium development, including the launch of the NFL Network (blow me “top tier” Comcast) and securing new television agreements as well as the latest collective bargaining agreement with the NFLPA.

 

How  ”The Goods” became Commissioner of the National Football League (NFL)… was elected to succeed the retiring Paul Tagliabue on August 8, 2006. He was chosen over four finalists for the position, winning a close vote on the fifth ballot before being unanimously approved by acclamation of the owners. As Commissioner, he is also President of NFL Charities.

 

Background

Goodell was born in Jamestown, New York, the son of the late United States Senator Charles E. Goodell, a Republican from New York and the late Jean Rice Goodell of Buffalo, New York.

The Goodell family moved to Bronxville, New York, in 1971. He graduated from Bronxville High School where, as a three-sport star in football, basketball, and baseball, Goodell captained all three teams as a senior and was named the school’s athlete of the year.

Goodell is a 1981 graduate of Washington & Jefferson College in Washington, Pennsylvania with a degree in economics.

 

NFL commissioner selection

Goodell’s selection as Commissioner following the retirement of Paul Tagliabue came as no surprise, but it was not a fait accompli. Tagliabue initiated a substantive, wide ranging search for his successor, appointing a committee headed by owner Dan Rooney of the Pittsburgh Steelers.

Goodell was one of five finalists, joining Gregg Levy, Frederick Nance, Robert Reynolds, and Mayo Shattuck III. With 22 votes from the owners being needed to make a choice, Goodell, who oddsmakers had installed as a prohibitive 2:5 favorite to be selected, only garnered 15 votes to Levy’s 13, with three votes scattered among the other candidates and the Oakland Raiders abstaining.

On the second and third ballots, Goodell and Levy were the only candidates to receive votes (Goodell 17, Levy 14). Goodell increased his lead to 21–10 after the fourth ballot, falling one vote shy of election, but on the fifth round of voting two owners swung their votes to him to achieve the necessary two-thirds majority.  The Oakland Raiders abstained from the voting in each round.

 

Personal life

Smooth and a PIMP… Goodell is married to smoking hot Fox News Channel anchor Jane Skinner and they have twin daughters. He has four brothers, including

 Michael, a long-time partner of Jack Kenny, creator of the short-lived NBC series The Book of Daniel. The Goodell family was the inspiration for the Webster family on the show. <— Got to be a few bar bets to be won with that tidbit of irrelevance.

***so there you have the goods on the Commish. Now Roger, if you desire to add a category named  “Legend of Goodell” to your post poobah autobiography, you simply need to forever stop talking about overseas Superbowls, raise or burn the Cowboys scoreboard (better yet let me go Turk 182 on it), put a 2 game max cap on the preseason, and denounce the Tuck Rule “Snowjob” as the biggest conspiracy in NFL history. Easy peezy.

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Lets get this straight right at the get-go, I am a huge fan of the body of work NFL Commisioner Roger “The Great” Goodell has produced thus far. That said, there are a few things he must soon address, and one glaringly bad decision he must “undo.” Sorry Rog, theres no such fucking thing as a “do-over” in the NFL… period.

 

NFL point 1:  A Fucking Do Over???
…  the crackwagon scoreboard stands tall at just a shade under 4,384 feet tall with an equivalent width of 914 aircraft carriers going nose to stern. I’ll set aside my seething for the fake American flag “flown” on the scoreboard (there is no real flag inside the stadium…. pinko crackwagon commies) for now to address this mammoth and its EFFECT on a football game.  Simply put Mr. Goodell, oh ye of wise and sound previous decision making, this was a fucking bad choice. To allow that monstrosity to affect THE GAME is criminal. Again Rog, did you hear yourself actually say “then it’ll be a do over?” What’s next, Romo asking  for “baby bouncies,” handing out “mulligan” cards to kickers… did you pimp that memory eraser from the men in black?

A fucking do over in the NFL… where sleet, snow, tsunmais and frozen tundra mean ”game on.” The NFL, where only the threat of potential “fry and die” lightning halts the progress of pigskin… yet it all stops for a “do over” in the name of corporate greed.

Seriously Roger, say “it’s a do over” and see if you can keep a straight face. Didn’t think so.

 

“Old Pond Frog Jump in Water Sound”

 

NFL point #2: Blackout with my Cock Out
… the waters of the archaic and self-mutilating NFL blackout policy are not sound, not by a looooooong shot Rog. If you didn’t learn from “RIAA and Metallica vs. Napster” you should have learned from baseball’s atrocious policy of  fellating NBC’s peacock with “prime time” west coast World Series games… you know, the ones where a kid wearing his beloved Yankees pajamas would have to stay up til 2am to watch the game (editors note: don’t get me started on the lack of day games now at Wrigley… screw tradition eh Bud?). But at least they GET TO WATCH THE GAME.

As it stands mr. Goodell, there are legions of young fans (note from a marketing major: soon to be your prized demographic)  that will never be exposed to the NFL. Your “hiding” the games strategy DOES NOT, and  WILL NOT ever work again in the future. It’s assinine to believe in todays digital era, that the powers that be in the NFL can’t see this dinosaur as anything other than a shortsighted and misguided attempt at “hoarding” their entertainment.

Roger, it’ll make sense when you finally realize that the 62,000 or so folks at the stadium are but a “drop in the overall revenue bucket.”  Sadly, I urge you to talk those folks at Nascar. I don’t like watching guys turn left for 4 hours, but they certainly understand that the golden cash cow (or purple?) is not in the “crowd.”

 

NFL point 3:  Two (not eight) is Enough… aka 4 preseason games of  hell
.. ’nuff said, I know you get this one already, just make it happen already.

 

NFL points 4 – 6 :  Don’t fuck with Tradition too much… or leave me the fuck alone
… a Superbowl overseas = travesty.

… defensive pass interference/illegal contact calls =  is so bad its a joke. Defense are people too.

… Superbowl ticket sales = 98% go to douchebags in Cadillac branded golf shirts. Fans are people too.

*** Thank you for letting me get this off my chest Rog;  you’ve been great, this’ll make you even better. RG

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